HBO’s new two-part documentary, airing May 23, reveals the deeply personal and complex life of Paul Reubens—the man behind the bow-tied, bicycle-riding icon, Pee-wee Herman.
In Pee-wee as Himself, director Matt Wolf pulls back the curtain on a figure both celebrated and misunderstood. Known for his manic energy, childlike wonder, and the unmistakable gray suit, Pee-wee Herman became a cultural phenomenon throughout the 1980s and beyond. But behind the scenes, Paul Reubens lived a vastly different reality—one marked by profound privacy, creative ambition, and personal struggle.
The film begins with the joyful chaos audiences expect from Pee-wee: “Guess what? I’m having a party, and you’re invited!” But the tone quickly deepens. “It’s weird to be in this situation,” Reubens confesses. “I’m used to having control of my alter ego.” From that moment forward, the documentary journeys into the life of a performer who was never quite comfortable in the spotlight, even as it embraced him.
Reubens recounts how Pee-wee unexpectedly sprang from a desire to be a performance artist. “Out of nowhere, Pee-wee Herman popped out of me,” he says. “The audience ate it up and went crazy.” And indeed, they did. From The Pee-wee Herman Show to Pee-wee’s Big Adventure and the beloved Pee-wee’s Playhouse, Reubens built an empire of childlike surrealism. Hollywood took notice. Yet, he maintained strict control over Pee-wee’s presence, rarely giving the public access to Paul Reubens himself.
Director Matt Wolf, known for Recorder: The Marion Stokes Project, built a strong bond with Reubens while working on the film, interviewing him for over 40 hours across 10 days. “The foundation of the film would be my interview with Paul,” Wolf says. That interview was supplemented by more than 1,000 hours of archival footage and tens of thousands of personal photos and videos, many of which had never been seen before.
The result is a portrait of Reubens as an intensely private man with a surprising love of nature. Living in a mid-century modern home in East Hollywood Hills, he would feed wild deer, skunks, and ravens that wandered onto his property at sunset—an intimate routine unknown to most fans. “That was really key to who he was,” Wolf says.
The documentary doesn’t shy away from controversy either. It addresses Reubens’ 1991 arrest for indecent exposure and a 2002 charge related to vintage erotica, which was later downgraded to a misdemeanor. These events disrupted his career and public image, yet the film reframes them within the broader arc of a man grappling with the pressures of fame and the loneliness of secrecy.
One of the most revealing segments is Reubens’ discussion of his sexuality, which he had kept private throughout his career. He shares stories of past relationships—including one with a man named Guy, whose mannerisms helped inspire the Pee-wee character. Reubens movingly describes visiting Guy in the hospital shortly before he died of AIDS, a moment that deeply affected him. These admissions mark some of the most vulnerable and human moments in the film.
Celebrity friends, including Tim Burton, Natasha Lyonne, and Laurence Fishburne, also appear in the documentary, helping contextualize Reubens’ profound impact on pop culture. “I want people to look at Paul as an artist who was generation-defining,” Wolf says. “Someone who changed people’s lives, but who wasn’t really known.”
In a final twist of fate, Reubens recorded a message for the documentary just 24 hours before his death from cancer in July 2023. It serves as both a farewell and a final reclaiming of identity. “Death is just so final,” he says. “To be able to get your message in at the last minute is incredible.”
Pee-wee as Himself is far more than a nostalgic look back at a beloved character. It’s a heartfelt tribute to the performer who lived behind the mask, a meditation on fame, identity, and legacy. At once funny, melancholic, and deeply personal, the film offers viewers a full-circle portrait of Paul Reubens—not just as Pee-wee, but as himself.
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